love & marriage

I'm sitting in my apartment that I've been cooped up in all day, home sick. Literally sick. It's boring and frustrating, but on the bright side I got to sleep most of the day and am starting to finally feel better.

It also happens to be my boyfriend's parents anniversary.. on year 36, I think. I'm so thankful to have them in my life. My boyfriend is truly a combination of his parents and is the man he is today because of them. They are each other's best friends. They live in South Florida, even though their two children have moved to NYC since graduating college and started their own lives (and families) up here. Although they miss their children and grandchild, they're happy because they have each other and get to spend everyday with each other. Although many of their qualities are so much like my own parents, they're love for each other is something that's fairly new to me.

While my parents are still married and have many great memories together, they are by no means happy or in love. I'm not saying they're unhappy, but their marriage is not what makes them happy. Probably quite the opposite. I didn't grow up in a happy household in that way. Many times I wished I was a child of divorce, feeling that it would have been easier on all three of us.

I've had my fair share of terrible relationships that echoed my parents'. On the other hand, my boyfriend and my relationship is his first real relationship. I'm not assuming it's because he grew up around love, while I grew up so desperate for it - but it makes sense.

I've had the chance to have "chats" with my boyfriend's dad on our Thanksgiving cruise (their birthday/holiday gift to us) last year and I just loved the way he talked about his wife and my boyfriend. It's something I always wanted for my mother. My mom is an incredible, strong, smart, inspiring woman. I think that staying in this marriage has been her only fault. She has done everything to make sure that I know my worth and to make sure I don't wind up on the same path as she did in that aspect.

celebrating our 1 year anniversary of dating (2012)

OK, enough rambling -- I'm very, very grateful that the man that I plan on spending the rest of my life with has had such positive role models in his life and wants the same for his future children. My baggage is enough for the two of us. And I'm even more grateful that he has chose me to spend his life with. I can't wait for us to be in his parents shoes one day, celebrating our 36th year of marriage. I feel very lucky to be madly in love with my best friend and partner.